You’re not wrong.
It feels chaotic out there. One thing collapsing after another. Some people are even saying the world feels like it’s ending.
It’s easy to go back and forth between two extremes:
Stay glued to everything.
We’re exhausted - but can’t look away.
If we stop watching, stop trying to make things better, does it mean we don’t care?
Or shut it all out.
Turn off notifications, put down the phone, avoid conversations (maybe even avoid holiday gatherings..), distract ourselves with anything else.
But the anxiety doesn’t go away. And the guilt whispers: How can you just go about your life when the world is like this?
It still doesn’t bring peace. Or hope. Nothing changes.
And now it’s the holiday season. It’s supposed to be about hope and joy, peace and celebration.
But personally, I struggle when it gets dark and cold. And lately, it feels darker and colder than usual.
Which is why I love Advent.
It doesn’t deny the darkness. It doesn’t pretend we’re joyful when we’re not. It’s about walking through the darkness, waiting for the light.
And it’s about the end of the world.
During the four weeks before Christmas, Christians do two things: prepare for the birth of Christ (the ‘advent’ of the Incarnation), and wait for signs of Jesus’ coming again: the ‘end times’ that we are promised. God reconciling the world, where ‘every tear is wiped from every eye.’
Advent is about waiting for Jesus to be born, and waiting for Christ to come again.
This Advent - you’re invited to wait with us at Trexo, as we keep the ancient Christian practice of Vigil.
It’s not another cheerful Advent calendar with daily Scripture verses and chocolate (there’s even 'Advent calendars’ for dogs these day!).
It’s about keeping awake to see the Kingdom of God at hand.
AND - it’s about the feelings of the anxiety, helplessness, and grief.
How we give up the idea that we can save the world, and look to the light of the Savior who will.
And finding hope and joy in this.
We’re already keeping vigil: staying awake at night worrying.
We’re already watching: obsessively, reactively, helplessly watching the world spiral.
Christian vigil is about changing the purpose and the meaning.
Join with Christians from the earliest church to today, and watch and wait for the light of the world.
The word “vigil” comes from the Latin vigilia - deliberate sleeplessness.
A watch kept when the body wants to rest.
Jesus himself asked his disciples for this. In the Garden of Gethsemane, facing his darkest hour, he said: “Could you not keep watch with me one hour?”
They couldn’t. They fell asleep. And Christians have been trying to stay awake for him ever since.
Vigil is not about fighting the darkness. It’s about going all the way through it to the light.
It’s about training our souls to watch for something, not just keeping hyper-vigilant for danger.
It’s the spiritual practice for people who feel powerless - because it transforms watchfulness from anxiety into anticipation.
Watch and Wait with hope and joy
When we wait anxiously, refreshing the news feed every five minutes, we’re training ourselves to expect more catastrophe. Our souls learn to brace for impact.
If we wait numbly, distracting ourselves until Christmas magically arrives (or at least, December 25 is past), we’re training ourselves to bypass reality. Our souls learn to disconnect.
But if we wait with intention - with prayer, with silence, with deliberate attention to God’s presence - we train our souls to recognize God’s presence with us, and power to overcome all darkness. Even death.
This is why we observe Advent. It’s a time of grateful anticipation of the coming of God into the world as the Christ child. And it’s a time of mystical assurance that this world is indeed passing away - to reveal God’s kingdom of peace.
The Christian tradition is an Advent wreath with four candles. Each Sunday we light one more. Each week the light grows.
We’re not pretending the darkness isn’t real. We’re watching it be overcome, gradually, week by week, by the light of Christ.
And we’re doing this while living in what the ancient church called “the in-between time” - the space between “Christ has died, Christ is risen” and “Christ will come again.”
The practice of Vigil teaches us how to wait. With active, hopeful attention.
This is spiritual fitness. This is why we need ‘a gym for your soul’.
Just like physical exercise trains your body to be strong enough for what life demands, spiritual exercise trains your soul to be awake enough to recognize what God is doing.
The monastics knew this. That’s why they built entire communities around the rhythm of keeping watch - rising in the night for prayer, maintaining vigilance through the canonical hours.
You don’t have to become a monk. But you can practice what they practiced.
Join us in vigil.
Four Sundays. 20 minutes each week, keeping watch with others, training your soul to stay alert for the coming of God.
This is the Advent Watch & Wait vigil practice:
Four online vigils.
The four Sundays of Advent (November 30, December 7, 14, and 21)
at 9pm Eastern (yes, it’s late! We’re keeping awake 😇).
Each vigil is approximately 20 minutes: not even the hour Jesus asked for in Gethsemane.
Still, it’s meant to stretch us, make us deliberate in our waiting.
At each vigil:
We gather online (via Substack livestream - you will receive an email with a link, 5 minutes before each vigil begins).
We light the Advent candles - one more each week, watching the light grow.
We read the Gospel assigned for that Sunday in the Revised Common Lectionary.
We pray the Collect - the specific prayer for each week of this season.
We sing an Advent hymn together.
I offer a reflection connecting the ancient practice to this moment - to your life, your anxiety, your longing.
We keep silent watch for 5-10 minutes - just sitting with the candles, learning to be still.
We pray together - you can type prayers in the chat.
And then we go back into our week, carrying a tiny spark of hope and peace.
Week 1 (Nov 30): Wake Up
Gospel: “Keep awake, for you do not know the hour”
We move from hyper-vigilance to danger to purposeful alertness for God’s presence.
Week 2 (Dec 7): Prepare the Way
Gospel: John the Baptist - “Make his paths straight”
We practice the uncomfortable work of spiritual preparation - repentance.
Week 3 (Dec 14): Keep Watching (Even When You Doubt)
Gospel: Even John doubts - “Are you the one?”
We learn to recognize God’s action even when it doesn’t look like we expected.
Week 4 (Dec 21 - The Longest Night): God Is With Us
Gospel: “They shall name him Emmanuel - God with us”
We watch through the darkest night because we know the light is coming.
What you receive:
4 live vigils (recordings available if you can’t attend live)
A downloadable Advent journal with reflections, prayers, and space for your own observations
Email guidance for the week between vigils
Access to our community where others are practicing alongside you
PLUS: A full year of Trexo membership - continuing the practice beyond Advent with the full Basic Workout (Prayer, Worship, Fasting, Body, Table)
Special offer: Join by November 23 for 50% off ($39 instead of $80 for the full year)
It’s the end of the world - and the beginning of God’s reign of peace.
It is scary out there. The darkness is real. The chaos is real. The feelings of helplessness are real.
The earliest Christians kept vigil in the face of persecution, violence, and empire. They watched through their own dark nights.
And they discovered something: when you train your soul to watch for God, you start to see God everywhere.
To acknowledge the grief without being consumed by it. To feel the helplessness without being paralyzed by it. To sit with the not-knowing while still trusting that God is present, God is acting, God is coming.
What is the world coming to? The question is still: what is coming to the world?
To participate in an ancient practice that has sustained people through far darker times than ours. A spiritual discipline that transforms reactive watching into purposeful waiting. A community of people who refuse to let despair have the final word.
The world is passing away. Christ has died. Christ is risen. And Christ will come again.
We don’t know when. We don’t know how. But we know this: God entered our darkness once as a baby born in a stable. And God will enter it again.
Our job is to stay awake. To keep watch. To be ready.
Hearts up.
